Dear Ms. N,I know you probably sent this to thousands in hopes that maybe one or some of us might be gullible enough to take the bait. Perhaps you even hooked a truly lonely, maybe intellectually-deficient writer with poor spelling and grammar habits. But alas, dear Ms. N, let me assure you- most of those you've targeted, likely all, on this particular writing website, will not be duped by your pleas.
A few simple lessons in punctuation might bring you closer to success. A basic understanding of American English spelling would help. And of course, making sure your desire for, ahem, companionship is sent to those who might be inclined to welcome it. I, not being of the lesbian persuasion (liberal thinker I am, open-hearted I am, but a lesbian I'm not), am not swayed to fall for you in one brief e-mail; though I'm sure you're beautiful and that while your e-mail doesn't reflect it, you possess a great inner beauty, too. (Albeit, a beauty lessened by this horrible scamming maneuver. It does make me curious what brought you to this point in your life, but I can't risk the viruses and possible harm it might cause to find out.)
So, dear Ms. N, I bid thee adieu, and hope terribly much that you'll never darken my inbox again (note to self to block sender). I will also pray that there will be something in your life, in the days close by, that will bring you an epiphany. I pray you the kind of moment in your life where you discover how much love God has for you and deeply God longs for your spirit's companionship. Because you are right in saying, "...love matters a lot in life...” In all sincerity, that is my wish for you, whoever you are- even if my dear admirer (of my personhood, or more likely, whatever is in my bank account) happens to be a 60 year old man sitting in a prison cell outside of Chicago.
Fare thee well, Ms. N, but I'm afraid you'll have to fare well without my companionship or my wallet.
1 comment:
LOVE this. And Amen!
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