IMO: In Plenty and In Want

Last night I attended a wedding for two people I think have a pretty good shot at having a happy life together. It was a beautiful wedding filled with lots of depth, and it was clear, this was not a situation “entered into lightly” by either the bride or the groom. During the “I do” part, not only did the bride and groom pledge themselves to each other, but the bride’s children gave their blessing on the union (it will be their new family, too), and the families and friends and congregations that support them- gave their blessing and pledge, too.

Aside from that, it was a fairly standard wedding set up: the procession, lots of music (mostly a capella, it was gorgeous), a meditation, a recession, a reception—all in all, no big surprises. And I know that as a guest, I should have probably grabbed some morsel from the meditation to ruminate upon, but it was something in the vows that caught me.

The bride and groom were holding hands and intently staring at each other. And they were declaring a modified version of the traditional vows. So, instead of saying, “for richer, for poorer”, they said, “in plenty and in want”.

In plenty and in want. In that moment, the last twelve years of my marriage rushed through my mind. Sure, we’d known richer times and poorer times, but just like Matthew 5:3 (“Blessed are the poor in spirit…”), I’d always taken this more literally. I promise to love you no matter what figures are in the bank account. But in plenty and in want means so much more.

It means- I promise to love you regardless of whether you’re more than I dreamed my husband could be or whether you don’t seem to resemble anything I want my husband to be like. I promise to love you whether you’re at your best and loving me well, and I promise to love you whether I can’t stand to be in the same room with you.

I don’t know about you, but when I said my vows back in 1998, and the wise-old age of 23, I had no clue there’d come not just one, but many days, when I’d be choosing to love in spite of the fact that I couldn’t stand the man in the other room. That, my friends, would have been a lot harder to believe and a lot harder to commit to.

This isn’t to say that my dear husband hasn’t had his fair share of moments/days, feeling that way about me. I know he has, and he has loved me through it. (Thank you, honey.)

And I realize I’ve had quite a few light bulbs going off lately (or on, rather), but I think even as adults we have growth spurts, or at least we should. I kind of think I’m on one right now. It’s nice to know I’m still growing up, but hard to know that I still have so far to go. I have to take my own advice and enjoy the growing up, because it’ll be over before I know it.

I had a snarky retort prepared for today, on the articles that are being posted about the new studies showing that women should wean their babies early. It raised all the angry prickles on my back. I could go on and on about how big name formula manufacturers get involved, but I think love trumps anger any day, hence today’s post.

I pray the two who were wed yesterday a happy lifetime together. No early dismissals. They have each known real pain. It is a joy to witness this kind of a marriage. I feel blessed to have been there.

And I thank them, because their vows have reinvigorated my own.

That’s my opinion. Take it or leave it.